Possibility over the 3 days

The three day therapy session was very good. I want to be hopeful because my daughter really did make some changes that were positive. There was no bed wetting or peeing in her pants. There were some little things but she did not escalate them into anything bigger than that. It is promising, but yet my heart is guarded, as I do not think I can go through the heart break again. It went a lot better than I thought and I am working to create healing for her and me.

Therapy this week

Tomorrow we will go to my daughter's residential treatment facility for some intensive holding therapy. We will work with her therapist for three hours for three days in a row. My daughter will stay with us. I am praying that this will make a difference.

Another outburst

The phone rings at 9:30, and it is my daughter's residential treatment home calling to tell me that she is at the support center and will be there all night. She escalated to out of control behavior with a staff because she was asked to hurry up to make her bed time. She started mouthing off, swearing, went to her room, slammed the door, threw things i her room, threated a staff that she was going to hurt her. All too familiar of behavior and concerning because I want her to get better and be able to come home. So I was able to get to sleep, but then woke up around 1:00 and layed there thinking for a few hours. You just never know when she will go off and when she does it seems to be getting worse. I feel bad for the staff that has to deal with her and be treated that way, they are all very nice. It just makes me sad, but I am learning that I can not take responsibility for her actions. But I also can't do anything to make a difference for her either. I know she is safe a protected where she is.

Questions for other parents with RAD kids

We are going to try three days of intensive holding therapy for two weeks in a row. The holding isn't constricting at all. My daughter will lay in my lap or my husbands, and look at us, making as much eye contact as possible while the therapist takes us through conversation and therapy issues. We did one week of three days last summer and it seemed to make a difference for a little bit.
Issues she is still dealing with include peeing on herself when she gets mad. She won't tell anyone, or lies about it when confronted.
She wants to be the boss all of the time and does not want to accept anyone telling her what to do.
Is it wrong to expect a child with attachment disorder to change any of these things before she comes back into the house?
Is it a reasonable expectation to have a RAD child come back into the home after being away for 15 months?
Does anyone know if holding therapy works?
Is there any method that is better than others?
How do other parents deal with children being away from their home?
How do you deal with the sadness?
I have 3 other children and I have to keep them in mind as far as the safety of our home and their well being.

my story

I adopted my daughter when she was 4. She started having seizuers soon after she was part of the family. Her seizure medicine was also an anti-psychotic medicine that, I believe, masked her attachement disorder issues. When she was 7, all seizure activity was gone and we started to take her off her medicine. About 6 months after we started to see heightened attachment disorder behaviors....lies, stealing, sweet as a button to strangers, out of control behavior, kicking holes in the wall. I had to call the police on her twice, put her in the hospital twice, and after a year of out patient treatment for her, she was placed in residential treatment facility.
Just this summer in June, we tried to transition her back to our home and by the fourth day she had an outbreak of anger that ended in her going back to the facility.
I am sad, as I don't think she will ever be able to return to our home. It is very hard to be a mom to a child that isn't in your home.
Anyone else going through something like this? I would like to have people share and become a support for one another.
If interested, I guess you can blog back. I am new at all of this.